Things to do

1. Get rid of the 'introvertishness'

2. Stop being so fricking shy!

3. Quit being lazy!!!

4. Speak UP. To fuck with not hurting people or being right- nobody cares!

aaarrrghhhh!!!!!! I could blast away walls if I could with my fists in so much frustration over simple things like the above holding me back. May it all change soon...or slowly. Or soon if it can.

5. Banish and abolish all fakeness. All those fake smiles and greetings. LOL. ...maybe this one for later,during the lifetime.

Is vanity a sin among doctors?

This was to be written when I was back in India, but was held back in the exepctation that things would be different in the US. Expectation that there would be more patient centricity. That there would be less back-biting among professionals.
I recently heard a joke -'How do doctors commit suicide---by jumping off their ego'. After spending sometime in here, I concur with this. One would have thought that having to deal with something as blatantly real as death on a daily basis, there would not be any scope for petty egos in this field. But as it happens always, we are always wrong when we expect some idealism sprouting from logic.

Aside from being a completely humbling factor on a basic human level, something as absolute as death should also be dealing doctors a hard blow of defeat day in and day out. As we fight disease everyday, death, as the culmination of that disease and pathologic process gaining victory everyday-there is barely any other way of life where I can think of where you can harbor and grow egos in the face of such daily defeats. Of course, one would need to see things in the perspective aforementioned.

There seems to be another viewpoint to this scenario to be fair to the doctors. Many patients would prefer a doctor who sounds confident to one who is confident but doesn't sound so. Admittedly, perhaps even I myself would like to die at the hands of a doctor who can give me confidence that every effort has been exhausted as a treatment option. I'm guessing I won't care much after I've breathed my last if that confident doc had missed any treatment options or was having any second thoughts about things or was even being sad and feeling helpless to see me go. On the other hand, I'd be dying before I die thinking and hoping and wishing that I get better help if the doctor attending me was to be pondering about newer treatments and experimental treatments-just out of his goodwill and commitment towards medicine or the patients- to keep me alive even though I had no hope in the whole wide world. So, I rake my brains again for another blurry line of life manifesting as this question- Is vanity a bad thing among doctors? or is it necessary? Or is it just an unnecessary convenient extreme of confidence? And why would you expect the doctor to exhibit restraint against indulging in this small guilty pleasure of indulging his egos when the whole world around deals in crookery? Why should you expect him to stop short of vanity and just stay confident for the sole and altruistic purpose of comforting the patient?! ......to end

Just another post

Starting with good news first. The Drew Carey Show is back on TV with admittedly, quite a few modifications and renamed as Drew Carey's Improv-a-ganza. For me, the old show was a daily supply of funny and a feeling of everything-is-alright-in-the-world about 10 years back when it was being aired in India. The picture is distinct in my mind when I would be in the corner of our living room facing the TV, legs curled up on the wooden chair, breakfast in hands...thirty minutes of being lost in the beautiful and simple show. Day after day of the same discipline filled routine, which would have put any German soccer team to shame. Also, there was a time when even being a huge fan of youtube for all the limitless diversity of its videos, I was convinced of its greatness for the sole reason that it helped me watch those amazing clips from the old Drew Carey Show. It was just a thrilling feeling to find out you can rewatch those comic episodes-as if you had a second chance at your lost love , or life itself(or should the order be reversed). That might sound cheesy but that's exactly how it felt for me. You could not help but marvel at the spontaneity in humor and genius of Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles. The others were great too, but these two were beyond compare.
The new show has a new format though..with a live audience and different gags, although I must say I miss scenes from the hat the most. Special mention to Jeff Davis, who seems like a worthy successor to the two greats above. Even though I miss the simplicity of the old show(people who know me would know how much I am a sucker for nonchalance and simplicity ), but again, seeing those improvs and the genius being played out..it's like a third chance at life. I just cannot find words to describe how it felt when I heard about this long lost favorite show of mine being revived and aired.

Another matter I wanted to address via this blog was the injustice I feel the film 'Godzilla' has been dealt. It was one of the very first English movies I got to watch, and with all the twists and turns, high dose of action and so many clever repartees,it became an instant favorite. It's never mentioned among any great lists, and ridiculously rated at 4.9 on IMDB. It has single-handedly spoiled that site's credibility for me , although a saving grace was some people on its discussion boards having similar respect for the film as me. A brilliant, fun-filled, popcorn movie and I had to let my feelings out on this one.

And to end, a brilliant joke I came across recently during the IPL2011. One of the originals, the whole situation and how it played out. Adam Gilchrist while keeping wickets for the Punjab team was hit upon his nether regions as he missed catching the ball. As he coughed due to the pain from that kind of hit, the commentators went something like this-1st one: Looks to have hurt him bad and he's coughing them back down. (Without much thought and in a smooth sentence) And as everyone realised what he had uttered the second commentator breaking into a laugh enquires: Is that the general strategy, to cough things down like that when you are hit there? HAHA.

A pleasant surprise:Anna Hazare

In the last few days, after the cricket world cup has ended, there has been a dominant news item all over. Anna Hazare. I am sure I won't be mistaken in presuming that not many of today's youth or maybe youth outside of the western India knew who he was before this phenomenon he has initiated. It's no secret to any Indian that corruption is omnipresent in this country. A way of life almost..a means of earning our livelihood. Second nature to many. One previous blog earlier where I wrote about how one of my friends-a doctor-had to shell out about 5-10% of his salary each month for no reason to the people who sanction the salaries to get his salary. Some people might try and put a strong front against it during their young and immature years-yea, it's another manifestation of the all pervasive corrupt society that small acts of resisting corruption are termed 'immature'- but then as they grow up into daily chores and stoop under the daily responsibilities, that resistance invariably wilts away. This has been my view of people and society in our country till now in their best possible image. So it came as a pleasant surprise that there was someone who was still able to fight against something so big and evoke a response this large so soon.

Well,that response from people was not much of a surprise. Greed and desire are basic human nature. Wanting a better life is not regarded a crime.There is a middle stratum of society whose subjects are in constant battle with their own conscience while falling prey to both the temptation and ill-effects of corruption in everyday life, in order to earn the luxuries of the world. Most of them would not mind playing the game fair. So it comes as no surprise that people joined the hitherto little known Gandhian,as they found an outlet to all that pent up little volcanoes inside them. And, it is also precisely the reason I won't be surprised if I come to know that majority of the populace joining Mr. Hazare has little knowledge of the Lokpal bill.

Anyways, I wanted to respond to something I saw on the TV via this blog. One of the minority voices against Mr.Anna Hazare was aired briefly saying, as I paraphrase, Anna Hazare's method of reform and protesting is wrong and he should be contesting elections and trying to bring in the change from within the parliament. The gentleman's photo showed him to be a balding middle to elderly aged person. You hear these kinds of principled voices in such contexts from time to time,along-with cliches about our country being the best, our constitution being the best etc. I mean, the concepts of democracy, parliament, our constitution and laws are not some celestial occurrings which are to be taken as granted and can never be changed. They were conceived by us humans after all. And quite clearly and frankly, they haven't worked here. Not in putting the criminals to punishments, not in giving equal opportunities to all people(you musta heard of reservations), not in keeping out corruption etc. So, I say why not an overhaul of the whole system.

It's not that I am advocating such extreme measures. Neither is the ongoing Anna Hazare movement. It was just in response to,as I said patriotic sounding silly cliches with blind and dumb belief in the present system which should not be perceived as being cast in stone. The politicians would have you believe it. I hope we stay strong and bring about the required change this time.

Corruption begets corruption. Policemen, lawyers, doctors, autorickshaws, shop owners and almost everyone nowadays has to pay bribes somewhere along the line of gaining their salaries/jobs. So that disgruntlement obviously will pour onto their customers and so forth. The cycle goes on viciously. Same goes for the politicians. Therefore, my dissent has never been and will not be against the politicians for now. I want an overhaul of the system and I hope the new measures proposed by Anna Hazare will go someway in ensuring transparency in our defunct democracy. Why I choose to call it defunct will take lot more space to explain and it's for another time. For now I only pray for the strength and fortitude for the warriors like Anna Hazare and his followers all over India so they can clean up this country of all its faulty policies and peoples.

P.S. Hope no IPL disrupts this movement.