THE most overused, abused, words without any meaning attached to them as of now in my view and world are- "friend", "busy", "nice". I very vaguely remember a time when these words meant what they meant. Now they're just word fillers. It's fascinating.
Friday, January 16, 2015
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Two absolute extremes
1)Is there anything more beautiful or pristine in this world than a girl's and/or a kid's unbiased, unprejudiced, happy, hearty laugh?
2)One thing I have grown to absolutely hate is how everything, everyone, everywhere always move on. Nothing, noone, never wait for you or care to pick you up.
2)One thing I have grown to absolutely hate is how everything, everyone, everywhere always move on. Nothing, noone, never wait for you or care to pick you up.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
More questions...
Had a patient today. Lost her mom at 6. Was raised by a grandmother, who's now suffering from cancer. Got addicted to heroin. Brothers in jail. Has kids, and pleads with us to let her go for a few hours so she can take care of some family business involving some trouble the kids are in at school.
Dismiss her as someone who is just addicted to something and is making excuses for it? Dismiss her as someone who is trying to lie to you? Dismiss her as someone who cannot be helped?
All three can be as easily answered YES. As easy as making a guy trust you, or fall for you. (Inside joke,black humor). But take a step back. Take a second to think. Put your vanity and pride aside and look beyond her trying to con you.
This is a human life we are trying to deal with and fix. Hard to accept, but just like you and me. One and all. Less fortunate. Once again, as I always say, imagine ourselves in that situation. Imagine growing up like that. Without a family stabilising you at every hard decision you had to make. Having to possibly visit your loved ones in jail. No education. No idea or concept of right or wrong. More distinctly, an absolute and completely different principle to life than us. To have to sell yourself for some drugs, or to get by, and not feel anything about it. I would say you have won half the battle against the world's vices if you can even fathom the distance between her life and yours.
Thus starts the turmoil again, of questions. This is a human life. How can it be so random? I know people who have every aspect of their life regulated by their loved ones towards 'success' and 'happiness'. How does this planet accomodate such bloody extremes? ....will finish soon.
Dismiss her as someone who is just addicted to something and is making excuses for it? Dismiss her as someone who is trying to lie to you? Dismiss her as someone who cannot be helped?
All three can be as easily answered YES. As easy as making a guy trust you, or fall for you. (Inside joke,black humor). But take a step back. Take a second to think. Put your vanity and pride aside and look beyond her trying to con you.
This is a human life we are trying to deal with and fix. Hard to accept, but just like you and me. One and all. Less fortunate. Once again, as I always say, imagine ourselves in that situation. Imagine growing up like that. Without a family stabilising you at every hard decision you had to make. Having to possibly visit your loved ones in jail. No education. No idea or concept of right or wrong. More distinctly, an absolute and completely different principle to life than us. To have to sell yourself for some drugs, or to get by, and not feel anything about it. I would say you have won half the battle against the world's vices if you can even fathom the distance between her life and yours.
Thus starts the turmoil again, of questions. This is a human life. How can it be so random? I know people who have every aspect of their life regulated by their loved ones towards 'success' and 'happiness'. How does this planet accomodate such bloody extremes? ....will finish soon.
That's about that. The second issue is with these people who cannot for one minute sympathise with such people.
For now, I just need some happy, simple people in my life...pray. Like that happiest kid in the pic above.
All that skiing and golfing and huge tv does seem to help!! So for someone who said money can't buy happiness, I'd say I'd rather be sad in a ferrari than a toyota. And you can't spread happiness if you don't cultivate happiness in yourself, it being a state of mind and all that... will surely finish soon!!!!!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Don't you just...
...love air travel! A change from the routine, all sorts of new people , no expectations from anyone, unlimited fakeness.
Alright, to avoid a quick end to this one, let me expand the above a little.
A change from routine: Especially on long trips, you have the whole trip to yourself. If you can muster it, solitude even.Both the to and fro destinations are filled with people or work or expectations, but the journey itself--status staticus(solemn static state I mean).
New people: obvious.
Unlimited fakeness: The same fakeness that you are served everyday seems nice when served on a short term, if you know what I mean. The air-hostesses and the hosts in particular...politeness and grace is a thing of the past, they have to overdo things. Well, who can blame anyone as that is all you find everywhere else. But as always, credit where it's due-This particular Etihad crew was just polite with just the appropriate camaraderie,bless them. One small bunch of passengers did get excited and would make up every little excuse to make up conversations with them at the back. When I asked the host if they were creating the turbulence on purpose so that the dudes would get back to their seats, sure enough he said that he wished the turbulence stayed all through the flight duration...lol.
So with all this going on, you don't have any expectations from anyone, no buildup of trust ,no bullshit. Almost a microcosm of life itself- you live alone and you damn sure die alone-quoting Dr. Cox from Scrubs.
The chickenburger from McDonald's at AbuDhabi airport was scrumptious btw,. I don't get to savour it in US for lack of halal meat.
One other issue, one which I'm a tad passionate about, busting cliches. "The silent ones are the ones who are more dangerous and to be careful with" or something like that. Borrowing another line from Scrubs- 'People are bastards coated bastards with bastard filling' that includes all people, silent and non-silent. So, it's just crazy to single them out. If I'm being polite I'd say they are humans too and they have the same sins among them as the others so it'd be you who needs to smarten the fuck up. And if I'm being blunt I'd say Smarten the fuck up you dumb pieces of you know what, cos at least the silent ones have the dignity to not justify their vices, to keep things under wraps knowing that wrong is wrong and are most likely in a state of internal struggle unlike the other group who go around happily doing all they want and also are easily adjusted and ego-syntonic with themselves. So next time you wanna utter some dumb cliche like that, think once more if you can, do everyone a favor and shut the fuck up!
Alright, to avoid a quick end to this one, let me expand the above a little.
A change from routine: Especially on long trips, you have the whole trip to yourself. If you can muster it, solitude even.Both the to and fro destinations are filled with people or work or expectations, but the journey itself--status staticus(solemn static state I mean).
New people: obvious.
Unlimited fakeness: The same fakeness that you are served everyday seems nice when served on a short term, if you know what I mean. The air-hostesses and the hosts in particular...politeness and grace is a thing of the past, they have to overdo things. Well, who can blame anyone as that is all you find everywhere else. But as always, credit where it's due-This particular Etihad crew was just polite with just the appropriate camaraderie,bless them. One small bunch of passengers did get excited and would make up every little excuse to make up conversations with them at the back. When I asked the host if they were creating the turbulence on purpose so that the dudes would get back to their seats, sure enough he said that he wished the turbulence stayed all through the flight duration...lol.
So with all this going on, you don't have any expectations from anyone, no buildup of trust ,no bullshit. Almost a microcosm of life itself- you live alone and you damn sure die alone-quoting Dr. Cox from Scrubs.
The chickenburger from McDonald's at AbuDhabi airport was scrumptious btw,. I don't get to savour it in US for lack of halal meat.
One other issue, one which I'm a tad passionate about, busting cliches. "The silent ones are the ones who are more dangerous and to be careful with" or something like that. Borrowing another line from Scrubs- 'People are bastards coated bastards with bastard filling' that includes all people, silent and non-silent. So, it's just crazy to single them out. If I'm being polite I'd say they are humans too and they have the same sins among them as the others so it'd be you who needs to smarten the fuck up. And if I'm being blunt I'd say Smarten the fuck up you dumb pieces of you know what, cos at least the silent ones have the dignity to not justify their vices, to keep things under wraps knowing that wrong is wrong and are most likely in a state of internal struggle unlike the other group who go around happily doing all they want and also are easily adjusted and ego-syntonic with themselves. So next time you wanna utter some dumb cliche like that, think once more if you can, do everyone a favor and shut the fuck up!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Things to do
1. Get rid of the 'introvertishness'
2. Stop being so fricking shy!
3. Quit being lazy!!!
4. Speak UP. To fuck with not hurting people or being right- nobody cares!
aaarrrghhhh!!!!!! I could blast away walls if I could with my fists in so much frustration over simple things like the above holding me back. May it all change soon...or slowly. Or soon if it can.
5. Banish and abolish all fakeness. All those fake smiles and greetings. LOL. ...maybe this one for later,during the lifetime.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Is vanity a sin among doctors?
This was to be written when I was back in India, but was held back in the exepctation that things would be different in the US. Expectation that there would be more patient centricity. That there would be less back-biting among professionals.
I recently heard a joke -'How do doctors commit suicide---by jumping off their ego'. After spending sometime in here, I concur with this. One would have thought that having to deal with something as blatantly real as death on a daily basis, there would not be any scope for petty egos in this field. But as it happens always, we are always wrong when we expect some idealism sprouting from logic.
I recently heard a joke -'How do doctors commit suicide---by jumping off their ego'. After spending sometime in here, I concur with this. One would have thought that having to deal with something as blatantly real as death on a daily basis, there would not be any scope for petty egos in this field. But as it happens always, we are always wrong when we expect some idealism sprouting from logic.
Aside from being a completely humbling factor on a basic human level, something as absolute as death should also be dealing doctors a hard blow of defeat day in and day out. As we fight disease everyday, death, as the culmination of that disease and pathologic process gaining victory everyday-there is barely any other way of life where I can think of where you can harbor and grow egos in the face of such daily defeats. Of course, one would need to see things in the perspective aforementioned.
There seems to be another viewpoint to this scenario to be fair to the doctors. Many patients would prefer a doctor who sounds confident to one who is confident but doesn't sound so. Admittedly, perhaps even I myself would like to die at the hands of a doctor who can give me confidence that every effort has been exhausted as a treatment option. I'm guessing I won't care much after I've breathed my last if that confident doc had missed any treatment options or was having any second thoughts about things or was even being sad and feeling helpless to see me go. On the other hand, I'd be dying before I die thinking and hoping and wishing that I get better help if the doctor attending me was to be pondering about newer treatments and experimental treatments-just out of his goodwill and commitment towards medicine or the patients- to keep me alive even though I had no hope in the whole wide world. So, I rake my brains again for another blurry line of life manifesting as this question- Is vanity a bad thing among doctors? or is it necessary? Or is it just an unnecessary convenient extreme of confidence? And why would you expect the doctor to exhibit restraint against indulging in this small guilty pleasure of indulging his egos when the whole world around deals in crookery? Why should you expect him to stop short of vanity and just stay confident for the sole and altruistic purpose of comforting the patient?! ......to end
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